London

The ground is wet, it smells like exhaust, and although it looks cold it doesn’t feel too bad. It’s humid. Ben strikes a few times, but I don’t keep count. It’s quiet but the squeaky breaks of a double-decker remind you that this city takes cat naps at night.

London doesn’t really rhyme. You can walk around late at night safely, and people do. The whole place seems to heat up after the sun sets, especially over summer, with late walks along the embankment. But pubs close at midnight. Maybe those things are connected somehow.

The tube is cool. It’s fast and efficient and people take it. There are strikes but not as often as France and it’s a little pricey but not as bad as America. It’s nice when a smaller tube stop looks all old-fashioned with cracked tiles and whatnot. The Baker St stop is a little like that. And the voice on the intercom just can’t be beat. “This is the Bakerloo line.” “Mind the gap.”

“Queues” are what they call them. The tidy alternation of vowels speaks to what they are. Whether it’s waiting at a bus stop or on an underground platform, Londoners are always civilized.

Except when it comes to football. That’s right “football,” the sport you play with your feet. Conflicting loyalties make men crazy. London has three top football teams (Chelsea, Arsenal, Tottenham). And that’s not to mention the overflow of Manchester United fans in the city, or the people (arseholes) who follow teams based on something like talent or consistency and choose to root for Barcelona or Real Madrid.

The best thing to do after watching a match at the pub is to get fish and chips, with a gherkin. They give it to you with vinegar on top, but you gotta pour a little more on and add salt before you even try them. You eat them while walking.

You might stop at a park. They have great parks, real nicely manicured. Londoners don’t really litter and there aren’t a whole lot of dogs, so the problems that plague American and French public spaces don’t affect London. It’s never really warm enough during the day to have a picnic in comfort, but a walk through the park is always nice. You could even stop by Speaker’s Corner and hear the crazies go on about Imperialism.

Their money is worth more than anyone else’s in the world. They reject the euro because they can. One coin in London is worth about two bucks.

London is not, though it seems like it, in the middle of Britain. It’s actually a little left of center and pretty far south, so it doesn’t snow in the winter.

Britain may not be known for its cuisine but the ethnic stuff in London is the best in the world. “Chinatown” (and I put it in quotes because it’s more like a little plaza they set up so that London could have a “Chinatown” like many large American cities) has this restaurant called “Won Kee’s” which is like three stories and always packed with people. They’re famous for having extremely rude waitstaff. “Upstairs! Upstairs!” they yell at you when you walk in. And sometimes when you get to the top floor they scream “Downstairs, downstairs!”

They eat this thing in Chinese restaurants in Britain called “seaweed” that’s actually fried cabbage with sugar sprinkled on top. It’s pretty good. They practically invented Indian food in London and curry after a crazy night is like the thing to do. Actually, some fish and chip shops have this spicy curry sauce you can pour over the chips that’s so weird but good.