my favorite local band

When I was in high school I went to shows instead of going to see movies. My (only) three friends and I fell in love with this one-man band called Dave Smallen (later a real band called Street to Nowhere that got signed by Capitol Records and then broke up to become, once again, Dave Smallen.) We pretty much followed him around the bay watching him perform. So, in high school I wrote what I now know is called "flash fiction" (a short story usually fewer than 700 words.) Here goes:

You’d walk into the club and it’s stuffy and crowded and loud and Who’s playing right now? and What? and Let’s go to the back and They’re really good, you wanna check out their merch? Everyone would be bumping into each other and pushing and looking at the people pushing and bumping and Hey he’s cute and What? and Nevermind. Then the band you came to see would go on stage and the atmosphere would change. Expectation. Did he cut his hair? and Is the bass player new? and then More on the monitors, less on the violin and Check, check, cheeeeeeeck just to see what it sounds like while he’s singing. And then the he’d talk and say Hello and Thank you for coming out and the music would start and everyone would kinda mumble the words and then they’d say them louder and then, at the climax, One, two, three, one, two, three, Yeah! And for the first time, just for a moment, while everyone is jumping and singing at the top of their lungs and its hot and everyone’s bumping into each other and pushing and What? he’d open his eyes, just the once, just to take it all in and you’d see him open his eyes, only you’d notice and for that one moment you felt like you knew him.