Eating Veggie Burgers in the Dark

My aunt called me a couple days ago to let me know that she had had an epiphany: It’s better to eat veggie burgers in the dark. A hippie my aunt may be—she’s a vegetarian, she partakes of protests, and she believes that if the moon is in Sagittarius then you should light a candle by your money tree—she had taken logical steps to reach this particular conclusion. Veggie burgers, she noted, were messy and typically dripped and crumbled all over the eater and said eater’s surroundings. If one eats his or her veggie burger in the dark, therefore, one knows not the mess created. A logical person might argue that even if no one hears a mess fall, it still makes a sound…or am I confusing my proverbs? The point is that as soon as the lights are turned on, this methodology no longer makes sense, the crumbs are still present as are any condiments. Her point? I think what she was trying to say was that messiness happens and if I have to close my eyes while it does, so be it. I can always deal with the mess a little later, perhaps after an enjoyable meal.